To Father Touvay the Abbot.
Am I a fool to believe you are a saint ? For when I pray to you, I find myself departing from a vast desert of lament and suffering, burned by God’s might, and you meet me by a creek where all the birds and the animals rejoice at your coming. You sit by me on a rock, wet of this holy water you have conjured. You are bathed in the Holy light and speak only of kindness and love. The one that conjures my demons out of my body. Thence, you start speaking : “I love you immensely as the Lord has loved me. Me, a horrible sinner, I have become a saint by his Grace. Rejoice, for I will never leave you.”
You help me understand God’s eternal love and Divinity, you talk to me when I don’t hear God’s voice. Am I deluded to simply be at one with myself in your presence?
Your miracles are not seductive and don’t amaze the masses, they are quaint, small but cut deep into the heart of sinners.
Now I ask myself, why should I not listen to you? You have come when I asked, and you spoke to me as you wished. Yes, it is in my mind that everything happened, but it is in my heart that it descended into.
Let us know more about you, about what made it so that you are so blessed.
As you have loved my grandmother, her siblings, my mother and all of your spiritual children, you love me as well. I love you as much as I love God. Why should I not let the world know about you ? About your eternal quest to alleviate the suffering of the poor, of the needy, of the ignorant and the sick ?
I shall never tell your secret, it is only known to God and to the people who are close to you. I believe it was only the struggle that made you who you are today.
It is my gift to be able to rejoice in the Lord with you, even by myself, away from my brothers and sisters’ eyes. But it would be an even greater gift than to call them to rejoice with me in your presence. If you allow me, I will make it my lifelong mission to worship the Lord with you, and to invite others to do the same.
You are the servant of the lord and I want you to teach me how you came from sin and ascended at the foot of the Palace of the Lord almighty.
Your humility is awe-striking, your love and compassion for the ones who are hard to bear is rebellious, your peace of mind through life’s strife and turmoil is strengthening.
I don’t know what you are not, but I feel like I know what you are.
I am the most grateful man, one who is able to be looked upon with pure kindness by a man such as you.
When I pray to you, you answer, what more do I need to say ?
You are a saint, you have surrendered to God and you obeyed, your love moved mountains. That is all I need to know.
Why am I stricken by so many tears ? My body is melting and I cannot do anything else than devote myself to you in order to know God more.
My heart finds comfort in your bosom.
Why should I reject these teachings of love ? They come from the Lord Himself.
You are one with the Lord, and you still seek more of his Love, how can one reject you and strike you down ?
You know of God’s mysteries, why should one ignore you ?
You reveal only what is useful to man, you only preach the Gospel, you are of the best of God’s servants, why should we not assist you in helping Him ?
Why should we not ? Who are we to judge you, whence you have never judged any of us ? Why should we strike down our enemies when you loved them ?
Even when you lost to temptation, you still seeked the Lord in your prayer. Why should we not do the same ?
–
Whenever I see a clear sky and a softly bright sun gleaming in the sky, I think you have just greeted me Good morning.
Why should I not dedicate the rest of my day to spending it with you, in spirit, whence I spend it for the Lord? Aren’t we stronger together, you and I ?
I believe you are a saint, and it is this Sanctity that sows the seed of joy in the Lord’s redemption inside my heart. I revere your sanctity, and I adore it as it comes from the Lord.
–
Abbot Touvay, this is your name. May it be known to all mankind, and may you be seen as part of the flock, the Saints of God, women and men devoted to His Love only and who reject all Evil.
Maybe other souls pray to you in silence ?